Free Par! Nine Questions on Alternative Punishments

It's too easy. Par stays at the Star Tribune. Par leaves the Star Tribune. That's the end all the high-priced legal talent is driving to as the Twin Cities journalism community watches gape-mouthed at the sight of a Ridder scion pushed into the dock for stealing company secrets.

The basic issue: did Pioneer Press Publisher Par Ridder steal and then share confidential business information with his new employees at the arch-rival Star Tribune when he scurried across the river in the dead of day to become publisher there in March?

So rather than a simple up or down vote, let's look for some creative ways of dealing with the case. Nine questions about suitable punishment. What's yours?

1) Couldn't Par just be sentenced to a two-day course of creating Excel templates? He says he didn't want all those complicated ad rate numbers in the spreadsheets, just the formatting.

2) Since the judge David Higgs, is a Jesse Ventura appointee (yes, it's been four years since the pro wrestler was still appointing judges), could Higgs sentence Par to a showdown with Jesse, who's always been good at instructing others on right and wrong?

3) How about turning off Par to the protective custody of the Vulcans, the longtime, semi-secret Saint Paul fraternal society, who know what to do about boys who alight to big city and bright lights of Minneapolis?

4) Could Par stay in Minneapolis, but the laptop -- with data -- gets buried in the annual Pioneer Press Treasure Hunt, as readers follow the paper's daily clues and dig up half of the area looking each winter for a medallion?

5) How about Par stays in Minneapolis, maybe buying a new place on the Lake Minnetonka, but has to donate his new $1.3 million Sunfish Lake place to the St. Paul Boys and Girls Club?

6) Could Par get sentenced.... to a week in a room watching an Art Brisbane Bobblehead, the former Knight Ridder VP who Par says gave him the nod that he could void his non-compete with the company?

7)  How about a week in the schools teaching English as a first language, and explaining the meanings of "confidentiality," "non-compete," and "theft"?

8) What if Singleton agrees to drop the case, and pull Avista (and Hearst, CNNI, Ron Burkle, Brad Greenspan and all the attorneys involved in the court case) into an expanded Minnesota News Partnership, embracing the Pioneer Press and the Star Tribune? (Al Gore provides a video to Judge Higgs saying that although he's usually against media consolidation, neither Singleton nor Avista ever did anything bad to him.)

9) Or if not that, what if the parties agree to settle out of court and do a live interview on WCCO-TV, Par Ridder and Dean Singleton interviewed by local stalwarts Brian Lambert and Nick Coleman?

What's your suggested punishment?

More Nine Questions posts here

Comments

[Ethics 101]

A spanking by Daddy Ridder in a public forum, followed by a spanking of Daddy Ridder by Pioneer Press employees past and present. Banishment from anything journalistic would be nice, too.

[hoppy]

i think you're a little behind the times on par's house. he just bought paul magers' old place on lake of the isles -- unless i am misinformed

see parridder.blogspot.com

Ken: It's hard keeping up with Twin Cities real estate long-distance. Thanks for the tip.

[Bill Wilson]

Well done. Nice humorous approach. However...when all is said and done I don't know how he can stay, or how Avista can keep him.

Unless... they were in it together and Avista is afraid of a Par Ridder lawsuit.